Allegiant: Alternate Ending
by thefactionless
Summary: I CAN'T MOVE. Searing pain shoots through my body and I want to scream but I have no control over my own mouth. I hear movements around me. They don't seem to care that I am in pain though I don't blame them. I can't even tell them myself. - Tris Do not read if you still haven't finished Allegiant.
1. Chapter 1

_**I am sappy for happy endings so I had to write this otherwise I'll need therapy.**_

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Some of the texts that are part of the book itself is only intended for flashbacks.**

TRIS

I CAN'T MOVE. Searing pain shoots through my body and I want to scream but I have no control over my own mouth. I hear movements around me. They don't seem to care that I am in pain though I don't blame them. I can't even tell them myself.

_Just breathe, _I think.

That's when I noticed. I can't breathe. Panic rises up from my throat. Without control I can't bring my hands up my throat and I lie there, unmoving, and suffering alone. _Get a grip, _I scold. _Get a grip or you'll die._

I let myself go. I try to think of things that would make me calm. Tobias. I wonder where he is. Is he in the room I am in? Is he looking at me right now? I long to see his face again. To wrap my arms around him and look into his warm, welcoming eyes. After some time I found that I am able to let air pass through my nose. It's not enough. Not enough to satisfy, but enough to live

_I want to live, I want to live, I want to live._

I feel no heartbeat too and I feel cold, but when focus I sense a hint of moving in my chest. Moving that lets me know that I am alive.

_Stay Alive._ For the most part I try to do just that.

**T**OBIAS

ITS BEEN TWO DAYS. Two days since I found out what happened to Tris. Two days since I realized that I will never get to see her smile again, to touch her and feel warmth, to kiss her, hold her and make her laugh.

I don't think I'll be able to get past this. The grief is too painful to bear.

I enter a dimly lit room. The walls are so far apart that I don't see any except the one I entered into. I only have one fear now. And no matter what I do I know that fear will never leave me, because it is the one that became reality. Compared to that fear the others seem irrelevant, almost childish.

A ray of light shines on the concrete in front of me. It's coming. All the life rushes out of me and I fall to my knees, shaking so bad it besets my entire existence. A woman struggles toward the center of the light.

Tris.

There's blood all over her face, her arms, her entire body. But her face is left unscathed. I get to see the agony that she feels clearly. Then I think: maybe I could save her. Maybe, just maybe, I could be with her, even just in my fear landscape. I lunge for her, thinking that if I was fast enough I could outrun the arms that will encase me. I am the fastest runner in Dauntless, I can do this.

But I can't. The second I take a step towards her arms grab me from different directions, wrapping me in a strong embrace, preventing me from reaching her. And then the screaming began. I call out her name but she doesn't hear me. More blood gushes out of her. I scream for her, writhing against the arms that grab me, as I see the life drains from her body. All I hear, as she slumps to the ground, is the sound of my thundering heartbeat.

Arms drop me to the floor and I lay there, unmoving, desolate and numb. I make no move to get up. I don't feel the need to.

'_Who cares about everyone? What about me?'_

_I lower my head to my hands for a moment, not wanting her to see how much they are trembling. Then I cross the room and kiss her. Silently begging her to see how much she means to me. How I would break if something unfortunate happens to her. She pulls back, and I see her being conflicted with herself. I want to ask what has been bothering her, so I can at least take some of the pain away. I see it eating at her and it hurts me too._

'_You _would _be fine.' She doesn't look at me. I want to tell her how ridiculous she is. 'Not at first. But you would move on, and do what you have to.'_

You were wrong, Tris. How could I possibly move on.


	2. Chapter 2

**T**RIS

I am in and out of consciousness of my own world. When my mind is awake only unbearable pain surrounds me, almost making me wish that I can just let all this go. Give in to what my body wants and get the peace that it yearns for.

But no, I shouldn't. Tobias is waiting for me. And we promised that we will decide what happens to our lives outside of factions together. I can't do that to him. So I fight. I fight the pain threatening to break me, I don't let it consume me. I don't know how much time passes until I hear someone. It started out as a muffle, too hazy to make out words. As it comes closer I recognize the voice.

Matthew.

But he's not alone. He's talking to someone. Christina. I don't get why their voices are hushed, but it is loud enough for me to hear what they are talking about.

"So you're saying she's alive?" I hear Christina say. _They think I'm dead? _

"I don't know for sure. But she isn't dead either," Matthew says, "She's too alive to be dead but she's too dead to be alive. I'm not even sure if she's breathing."

"But there's a chance that she might come back."

"A slim chance." I sense someone beside me.

"Tris?" Christina says. I want to answer, but no matter how hard I push I can't move my mouth. _I'm here,_ I try to respond. _I'm alive._

She touches my arm, her warm palm hot against my cool skin. It strikes me then how much dead I really seem to be.

"Why is her skin cold?" she asks.

"I've been wondering about that too. My main theory is that it's from the effects of the death serum. She shows characteristics of being dead without actually being one. And because she's Divergent, her body's trying to fight it off," Matthew says. "Most of her bullet wounds are still raw, but it doesn't mean that it's not healing."

"We should go tell the others," I hear Christina making her way to the door but her footsteps halt.

"Christina, wait," Matthew stops her, "Now's not the right time."

"What? Of course it is! She might be alive. I have to find Tobias—"

"Don't."

"Why the hell not?"

There is silence in the room. The pain starts to rise up again but I ignore it, wanting to find out what happened to Tobias.

"Because," Matthew explains, "I can't give him false hope. I've already seen him break because of her loss and if I do that to him again, he won't take it."

"Matthew, she's the only one that he lives for. If I know Tris, I know that she will do everything she can to survive. She will get through this, and I want Tobias to be there when she does."

I hear a door closing. Someone, Matthew I think, sighs and leaves the room too. They think I'm dead. The weight of the situation settles on me like a ton of bricks. Tobias thinks I'm dead. Where is he now? What is he doing? I feel pain again, but this time it isn't like the one I've been experiencing before. I feel pain thinking about what Tobias might do to himself. Frustration kicks in. I trash around but I know it's only in my head. I stop before I am out of air. Struggling would only do me no good. The only thing left to do is fight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Some of the texts that are part of the book itself is only intended for flashbacks.**

TOBIAS

I can't pinpoint when her body disappears or when the darkness lifts. I just lay there, too devastated to move. I don't know why I feel the need to go through this, only to watch her die repeatedly. But the sick, psychotic part of me knows. He wants to see her like that. He wants to see her, _alive _and dying, than see her lifeless form in a table. Dying, but still alive.

He gets to see her alive.

I am only vaguely aware of someone's hand on my shoulder until she speaks. "You need to get up," she says. I look up and I see Christina, her mouth set in a straight line.

I clear my throat before I speak. My throat feels constricted but I manage to moan, "Why?"

"I need to tell you something," she says as she offers me a hand. Without any fight in me I take it. She doesn't say anything but I follow her. I halt when I saw she is nearing the room where Tris is. I feel the rapid thudding in my chest.

"I can't," I choke.

"Stay here, I'll just go get Matthew," she says. Christina peeks in the room. I guess Matthew is not there because she jogs to the end of the atrium, leaving me with only a wall separating me from _her _body. My knees feel weak at the thought. I lean in and let the wall support my weight. For a man who has only one fear left, I have become weaker than I am expecting.

She comes back twenty-seven seconds later. Matthew follows behind her, almost blocking me from his view. He looks uneasy. We all stood by the door of the morgue.

"Matthew has something to say," Christina insists, her eyes determined.

I look at Matthew nonchalantly. It took a couple of seconds for Matthew to respond, "It's better to just show you."

He opens the door but I back away, not wanting to see her inside, lifeless, gone. I grit my teeth, suddenly feeling the anger boiling in my blood. Don't they understand that I can't _do that_? Christina stops me before I say anything.

"We think she didn't die," she interrupts.

I am taken aback. "What?" I whisper.

"Just…let's get inside," Matthew held the door open.

I don't know why but I hold my breath as I enter the morgue. It's like I am not allowed to. But all the breath rushes out of me when I see her. More importantly, when I see the situations she is in.

Tubes are injected from her body connecting to different kinds of monitors. I stop when I caught a sight of a heart monitor. It isn't moving. The line that is supposed to tell me that her heart is still beating, that she is _still alive_, tells me that she is not.

"Is this a joke?" I bark out. My hands forming into fists in their own accord.

"I know it contradicts what we are implying at the outset," Matthew starts. "But you have to wait a few seconds."

I want to punch him. Smash him into a wall and lay my fists on him continually. I don't know what I had become these past few days. But I refrain myself. Though it is unlikely, I crave the thought of Tris being alive. A lifetime passes and then I see something. A shift in the monitor indicating two faint heartbeats. That shift jolts me awake, propelling me to the edge of the table and towards Tris. I take her hand. It is still cold, but I know now it is just deceiving me.

"Tris." I try to stop it but tears well up my eyes, blurring the image of Tris in front of me. The amount of tears I allow to fall within a span of two days surprises me. I close my eyes momentarily and will them away. "How…why is she still not waking up?"

"That's because she's still battling off the effects of the death serum. The government designed the serum to have a lasting effect; hence it is the most dangerous serum out of the five. They intend for the effect to be permanent," Matthew says. "She should be dead by now, but she's not."

"Can her body handle only a few heartbeats at a time?" I turn to him.

"As for now her body is running with minimal exertion. Given the fact that she's motionless throughout the day. But if it lasts for too long…she won't make it."

"Can't we help her in any way?"

"The most we can do is stabilize her. Anything other than that might cause effects that are detrimental to her progress," Matthew explains. "We just need to wait."

"Wait? You expect me to wait when she's slipping every second that we do nothing!" I cross the room in two strides and grab him by his collar. "That's bullshit."

"Tobias, stop," Christina is at my side and tugs my arm.

I know I have to calm down. I let go of Matthew and hung my head, backing away from him. "I'm sorry," I say.

"It's alright," he clears his throat. "I know you're upset, Tobias, but that's all we really can do. It's all up to Tris now."

"And I know she will fight," Christina says. "She can and she will. We just have to have faith on her."

I slump on the chair next to the bed, feeling suddenly exhausted. I look at Tris. The monitor beats faintly again. Every time I hear that sound it sends a reminder in me that she is alive. She will come back for me. I force myself to wait.


End file.
